Yes, I have OCD.
It all started back in 2007 when I began to lose my mind. It progressively got worse until I was diagnosed with a mild form of OCD in 2008.
To this day, there are certain road blocks in my head which can only be circumvented if I adhere to certain rituals. It’s like my minds playbook that has everything laid out in front of me and if I deviate from the playbook silent alarms go off and an unrelenting force grabs me by the shoulders and whispers, “doom…’
For as long as I could remember, I always had this compulsion to be perfect. Perhaps it’s my bodies way of keeping up with itself. Most of the time I don’t notice my compulsions unless I’m working on one of my projects. I’m constantly checking and re-checking content on @BipolarUs @ptsdUS @OCDus. It’s as if I don’t trust myself and although my beliefs reside with the facts the desire to perform unnecessary rituals are overwhelming at times. There’s a part of me that knows it’s a ridiculous endeavor to repeat things over and over again only to come to the same conclusion each and every time but If you don’t do what your brain commands then look out, the end is near.
You’ll begin to feel pain. It’s like feeling a cold fist encapsulating your heart while it squeezes the breath out of you. However, all of this can be avoided as long as you follow the simple rules that keep you constantly washing your hands, stepping over cracks on the sidewalks and preferring odd numbers over even ones because it, “feels better.”
It’s not an easy life but once you see a doctor, the disease becomes less fierce than it once was. Having a mental disease is not a disease on society. We face our battles silently while your brain chemistry is working normally. We don’t have that but it doesn’t mean that we can’t keep moving. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••@ + (ptsdUS – US) + PLUS = @ptsdPLUS | #WORLDPTSDDAY • 30MAR16 • #WPD30MAR16 | Starting Now I’m Going 2 Teach U Everything, All of My Ways, All of My Secrets… • https://goo.gl/YKnhHE