OCD Confession: Currently sat crying in my bedroom having a breakdown because one of the drawers in my chest of drawers is broken so it doesn’t close properly. Staring at this sight from my bed is making me have a panic attack and now unless I dismantle the drawer to fix it I will not sleep tonight and will be awfully tired for work tomorrow (which I will also be if I am up all night fixing it). Found out this evening that one of my closest friends’ dog died and all I keep thinking is that it is me not noticing my broken drawer that has caused it. I know this is irrational and stupid so why can’t I seem to convince myself it’s not my fault and nothing else will happen if I leave it broken… What if I leave it, go to sleep and I never wake up? What if this broken drawer injures one of my family members and they die? Again, this is completely irrational so why am I thinking it?!
OCD is not ‘glamorous’ or ‘trendy’. This is torture and I wouldn’t wish it in anyone.
Writing this is a brief distraction and has calmed me slightly then I look up at the broken drawer and my insides few like they are doing somersaults. It makes me feel physically sick.
Looks like I need to go and find a screwdriver.